sitting in the quiet...

so I am sitting in my Abnormal Psych class - well in the classroom rather - it is early and I have another 40 mins until class begins.

I have been single 8 whole days, and you know what - I still don't regret my decision. Maybe it was the long distance relationship we found ourselves in toward the end - but it has made it easier to get on with my life and the living I have to do.

Thursday night friends came over for martinis, wine and movies - Friday - I had dinner with two friends from school - Saturday I had a long time friend's birthday party at a swanky NYC location, I had a great time, danced the night away and it was fantastic - and Sunday - I had brunch with old high school buddies. I am blessed that I have such great friends who when I needed them most were there for me. Coming out in droves to make sure I am doing ok - and the truth is I am. I am not saying it doesn't sting  - or that I am completely inhuman or immune to post-breakup blues - it was a six year committed relationship after all - but I am feeling hopeful for Spring. I am feeling ready to take on whatever life throws at me.

Even when it gets bleak - it is going to be ok. I am going to be ok. I am going to get through this with myself intact. 

every ending is a chance for a new beginning...

Sorry my posts have not been consistent - I have been going through a breakup with my boyfriend of nearly six years. There was no huge fight, no screaming, we were just two people who had grown up and grown apart and the things I wanted and needed from him he couldn't give me anymore.

So here I am, newly single after nearly six years in a relationship. From age 18 I have been partnered off and I really have to say as horrible as this might sound that being on my own is probably the very best thing that could have happened. I will be 25 this year and I need to learn how to live for me.

I have been thinking lately about how so many things have fallen to the wayside in my life. My personal fitness level and general health overall, my creativity and writing have slowed, and my spirituality has been tested, but I don't want or need this experience to break me. I need it to renew me.

So here is the plan I have been thinking of:

1. Join a gym - go at least once a day (whether it be the machines or a class)
2. Start a paper journal and keep it close by and try and write in it once a day to get a basic barometer of my feelings and mood.
3. Create study groups for my classes, spend time with friends outside of the classroom and throw myself into my studies.
4. Plan adventures around the city, exploring parts I have not yet ventured too and taking pictures where ever I go.
5. Make it a point to reach out to old friends and catch up with them, even when life is busy or I would rather not be on a phone.
6. Take care of myself physically, the gym is great, but so is painting my nails, doing my makeup, wearing great outfits. I promise I will put only the best version of myself forward from here on out.

It is time to start living and loving me the most. I need to do this or in the end nothing will have changed. It is time to shed the worry and the doubt that something is wrong or broken. When someone needs to be healed and valued.

Later Loves